Just Desserts
by AnniKay
Summary: Immediate followup to iLove You. What if Freddie and Sam couldn't follow through on their breakup. Follow Seddie as they grow and learn together.
1. Chapter 1

Just Desserts  
>AnniKay<p>

Sam/Freddie

Disclaimer: I own Nothing…Dan Schneider along with Nick and others own this fandom and all the characters there in…Anything you recognize obviously belongs to them  
>Spoilers: Up to and including Season 5 iLove You<p>

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><p>Chapter 1<br>_Sam Point of View_

True Chiz, I'm laying here wrapped in the way stronger than you would expect for a tech-nub arms of Fredward Benson, my body still shivering and shaking from the first co-ed orgasm of my life, and all I can think is how the hell did we get from breaking up in the elevator to here.

&&&FLASHBACK&&&

"Sam…I love you." Freddaname said his voice soft and yet full of emotion and sincerity.

"I love you too." I returned with a small, sad smile.

"Maybe we can break up at midnight?" he suggested hopefully.

"You know, nub, that may be one of the best ideas you've ever had." I tease. We head back into the elevator and rather than ride it back up to the studio, we stop it at the thankfully empty living room. If we were only going to have these next few hours as a couple we wanted to spend them alone…just the two of us. So we made our way through the Shay living room and over to the Benson Apartment without having to talk to anyone. Once we entered his apartment, Freddie locked the door and pressed me against it, before allowing his mouth to find mine.

One would never know it to look at him but Fredward Karl Benson is an amazing kisser. He is strong and forceful, even while making you feel like the most delicate and precious thing in the world to him. He buried one of his hands in my hair. Technub sure does love him Mama's Hair. He likes my ass too, Cause that's where his other hand heads. God, there are no words to describe how good it feels when he grabs my ass and pulls me tight against him.

We lost ourselves in that kiss. He mapped every millimeter of the inside of my mouth before trailing hot nipping kisses and sucking little bites down my neck. I barely realized what I was doing as my fingers went to work on the buttons of his shirt. All I did know is that my body was on fire. I've never felt this way in my entire life. There was a hot heavy feeling that started burning in my lips and traveled down to settle low in my belly. Everywhere his hands touched, he caused little flares of, I don't know, passion to sing through me.

"Sam." Fredwierd groaned my name against the hollow of my throat.

I don't know if he was asking a question or permission or just wanted to say my name but it sounded so good on his lips. "God. Nub…Shit." I babbled. I threaded my fingers through his chocolate brown hair and forced his mouth back to mine. Time stood still and rushed by at the same moment. Before I realized it, we were in his room; once more he closed and locked a door before pressing me against it.

"Tell me no now." He directed. I knew what he wanted, what he was asking.

"I can't." I moaned. I barely recognized my own voice. I wanted nothing more than to be right where I was right this moment unless…

Our hands flew over each other's clothes as we got rid of all the crabby clothes separating us from what we really wanted. We moved across the room to Freddie's bed in a fog of passion and a haze of desire. Freddie actually picked me up, guess his guns aren't just for show after all. He laid me down on his bed before pressing me into the mattress.

_Freddie Point of View_

I smiled, and returned my mouth to Sam's. Rolling so that she was on top. Sam started kissing me deeply, smiling as she felt my hands roaming over her back and cupping her ass. She has the world's most amazing ass. I ground my pelvis into hers at their joining. Sam was loving the power seat. She leaned up and let her nipple graze my kiss swollen lips. God her breast are amazing, so full and round. They always look so big on her little frame. I teased her with taunting licks and nips where she wanted my attention. Finally I latched onto one sensitive nubbin, suckling it gently.

Sam moaned and grew even wetter. She slid up and down against the rigid length of my manhood, careful not to disturb my mouth on her breast. We rolled once again; Sam seemed to love the feel of my larger body surrounding her. My questing hands found Sam's springy mat of golden curls. Gently threading my fingers through the matted hairs, I accidentally brushed against Sam turgid clit. The blonde cried out in pleasure, so I did it again.

When she gasped out my name I knew he had to hear that sound again. I alternated pressure, and played with her swelling little clit until she flew apart in my arms. Before I could think about it, I slid a thick finger into Sam's clenching, climaxing tightness. Carefully I began to thrust with one finger until I heard Sam breathlessly beg for more. I pulled away and licked my finger clean. Sam whimpered at the erotic sight. I smiled at her sweet tanginess and returned my hand to her tight little pussy thrusting with two fingers this time.

I figured that as small and tight as Sam was I should help her out by opening her up a little with my fingers. But when she could take three, Sam was through with my gentleness. "Frederly, Mama wants you now. You, not your fingers." She demanded threateningly. I, as usual, listened to Sam. To be honest I made a habit out of giving Sam what she wanted so long ago, I can't even remember when it started. I moved completely over her and guided her tiny but so strong hands to my erection. Sam guided me into her. The thick head was worked forward and butted against her now weakened hymen. The tight, wet heat and feel of her hands touching me where I'd barely allowed myself to dream of were simply too much for me add in the fact of what was taking place and much to my shame I came. I came quickly and fiercely.

I started to freak out and apologize, until I realized that my hard on had not diminished in the slightest. I leaned down and kissed my blonde demon deeply as I pushed forward, past her maidenhead. I pushed onward her hands on my hips urging me on. I finally bottomed out at her cervix and we both moaned in satisfaction. My hands found Sam's hips, and I began thrusting. Sam was completely unselfconscious with me. She allowed herself to enjoy the sensations and build on them. Her hands roamed over both our bodies, tweaking my nipples and her own. She leaned forward and licked his nipples, smiling at his growled encouragement to do it again.

I loved how responsive Sam was. I could feel her tightening and clenching around my penetrating and retreating cock, as she had my fingers earlier. I hunched down and tugged at her nipples with my lips alternating back and forth until Sam screamed out in a more intense pleasure than any she had ever before known. I roared out as I thrust completely and forcefully into her and joined her in the maelstrom of sensation. Each throb and pulse of my orgasm served to intensify Sam's and each sucking wet grasp of Sam's intensified mine. Until we both collapsed in a heap of arms and legs, completely and gloriously spent.

"God, who knew sex was better than ham." Sam chuckled.

&&& End Flashback&&&

_Freddie Point of View_

"I don't think I can let you go." I whispered, I leaned over and pressed another kiss to her pretty pink mouth sucking for a moment on her lush bottom lip. Before I could think about my actions I buried myself back in her hot wet heat, grateful once again for the regenerative powers of youth. "I'm not letting you go, Sam. You're mine. I'm yours, and you're mine." I groaned near her ear.

"Fuck. Freddie…how the chiz did you, oh god, get so good at this?" She moaned.

"How can you lift me over your shoulder and arm wrestle truckers? It's a natural gift. God made me specially equipped to, oh Fuck you feel so damn good, bring you pleasure. Fuck. My cock fills your tight little pussy just right. I can bump your cervix with every stroke. Shit, so you were built just for me." I howled. "Your sexy body, your sweet ass, your big sexy tits, just right for me, fill my hands just right fit under my arm just right."

I rolled us so she was on top and she gave me a happy smile. "Mama likes." She crooned before riding me hard. I slid my hands over her waist and up to play with her turgid flushed nipples. "Pinch 'em." She moaned. As usual her every wish is my command. So I let my fingers tighten on them pinching and twisting and even pulling. I looked up watching in rapt attention as she threw her head back and moaned. Loud and long. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her down to drink down her moan in a kiss. I thrust up hard, fucking her even as she rode me.

Unfortunately while I can bless the regeneration powers my age gives me. I have to curse the lack of stamina. It was too good. I rolled her back under me, and captured her wrists with one hand. I pressed those into the mattress above her head and thrust into her wildly. Suddenly she screamed out and I felt her pussy begin to spasm around me, clenching and releasing, milking me as I poured everything that I am into her. "God I love you." I moaned so loud it echoed through the apartment despite the closed and locked door. I watched as her eyes rolled into the back of her head. My own seemed to do the same, I passed out over her instinctually falling to the side.

We slept that way until my alarm woke us then next morning.

_Sam Point of View_

The technub pulled me into the shower with me, even taking time to wash my hair and comb it for me. "Damn Nub, you're awfully good at that. Always knew you were a girl." I taunted.

He pressed me against the bathroom sink, pressing a half hard erection into my ass. "You know better than anybody that I'm all man, Princess Puckett."

"Damn Skippy," I said honestly. "Who the hell knew that you had all that under those dorky clothes? I mean, ok, we see the biceps, so the pecks aren't that much of a shock, but the six pack…I'd have pegged you for a mini-keg at least."

He spun me around. "What else Puckett?" he whispered against my ear. He lifted me onto the counter pressing himself against me where I was growing wet yet again.

I bit back a moan. "You tell me. I'm betting you can give me your exact dimensions. Length, radius, diameter, circumference, volume…so you tell me, Dork."

He smirked, and leaned in so close all I could see was his eyes. His lips were less than half an inch from mine as he answered my question. "Nine and a third inches long. One and a quarter inch in radius. Two and half inches in diameter. Seven point eight three inches in circumference. Which would mean that it has 45.81 cubic units of volume." He reached down and in a moment I felt him filling me once more. I was sore to be honest, but God it felt too good to ask him to stop. "As I am often reminding you two, I am a guy."

He will never have to remind me again. God he's a guy and he's damn good at everything that he sets his mind to.

Of course we had to take another shower before school. He loaned me one of his old penny tees and a pair of boxers. We headed to school as though we hadn't had a life changing experience the night before. We never spoke of our decision in Carly's elevator. We also decided to ignore any advice coming from the girl who never, ever made a good choice when it comes to relationships. In fact when Gibby heard the advice Carly had given us he laughed his gibbies off. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You should respect each other's hobbies, and enjoy the things you share, but what idiot thinks you have to share everything you do. Good Lord."

Freddie and I exchanged looks. "Do you feel as stupid as I do right now?" I asked.

"Oh yeah." He chuckled. "So, we telling Carly about last night?"

"Don't know…we telling her about tonight?" I asked with a smirk.

"Can't tonight, Crazy's off this weekend. Then she's on days for two weeks." Freddie groaned. "So we're stuck at PG for the next little while."

"Damn. I guess its better this way…Mama's pretty damn sore." I leaned forward and whispered sexily next to his ear. "That huge cock of yours stretched me so good." I moaned. He pressed me up against a locker and kissed the hell out of me.

"Puckett, Benson…No PDAs, detention." Mr. Howard yelled at us. Fredifer must have decided that if he was already in trouble there was no need to end the kiss before he had his fill.

We broke apart and headed to class. Carly ran up and joined us. "Where did you guys disappear to last night?"

"Oh we just decided to spend a little time together." Freddie answered pressing a kiss to my temple.

"Yeah, we figure that we don't need to spend all our time together, just make sure that we have some time to ourselves." I laughed,

"Plus we came to the realization that we should just be ourselves. Freddie and Sam…Technerd and meat loving demon. Sam was starting to creep my out being nice to me all the time." He joked.

So I punched him in the arm, hard enough to move him, but not hard enough to bruise. "Good. Its only fun to beat the Gibby for so long." I teased back. "I always figured you for a masochist Fredgimp."

"Well the whole world knows you're a sadistic little thing." He shot right back.

"OK, okay…you two are making me really uncomfortable with all that," Carly looked around and dropped her voice. "Sex talk." She whispered. "It's bad enough that I have to see those hickeys on Sam's neck."

"What?" I yelled. I grabbed Carly's hand and dragged her to the bathroom. "Damn it." I groaned. "How did I miss these?" sure enough there were four of them two on each side of my neck, two light and almost pink, really just bite marks. In fact they could probably be used to make a perfect cast of Freddie's teeth. The other two were dark, angry and when I touched them, damn if I didn't get wet all over again.

Carly stood next to me laughing. When she suddenly stopped, "Sam…isn't that Freddie's shirt?"

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><p>I am a review hog. I live for them, I love them...Give them to me and I will give you more Seddie joy.<p> 


	2. Oh My Chiz!

Just Desserts  
>AnniKay<p>

Sam/Freddie

Disclaimer: I own Nothing…Dan Schneider along with Nick and others own this fandom and all the characters there in…Anything you recognize obviously belongs to them  
>Spoilers: Up to and including Season 5 iLove You<p>

* * *

><p>Chapter 2<br>_Sam Point of View_

I look at Carly like she is nuts. "Man, Carlotta, you sure are observant today to say that you haven't been lately. I stole this shirt from Freddie months ago. I've had this shirt since before I played with his NERD Camp application."

She shook her head. "Sam you know you shouldn't steal from your friends."

"Oh please. Like Freddwina can fit this anymore. He'd bust out these sleeves like the Incredible Hulk." I laughed as we headed back out to the hall. Freddie was leaning against the wall waiting on us. "I should tie your tongue into a knot." I growled at him.

He had the nerve to smirk at me. "I like them. Besides you've bruised me a million times over the years."

"He kind of had a point, Sam." Carly laughed. "See you guys at lunch." She headed to her first period class still laughing.

Freddie and I headed off to honors biology together. I'm still not sure why Ted keeps putting me in classes like this. Some bullshit about my test scores out weighing my subpar daily grades. Personally I think he just was smart enough to realize that keeping me in classes with Carly and Freddie made me less likely to get bored enough to damage his precious teachers.

We walk into the classroom holding hands like we have been for the last who the hell knows how long, and still I hear the bubble headed cheer chicks whispering and giggling behind their hands. As usual we ignored them. I don't give a damn what anybody thinks about me and the nub. We're good together. So those airheads can go take a long walk off a short peer. I'd kick their asses but I tend to feel it's wrong to beat up chicks.

The next week was hard as hell to deal with. We'd only had one night together, but we both wanted more. I went from being a lovable rogue to being a straight up bitch…and Freddie. Well he's pretty much hanging on by a very frayed thread.

_Freddie Point of View_

The troglodytic masses at Ridgeway High never cease to amaze me with their sheer stupidity. Apparently Sam's inability to put up with the rampant stupidity of our classmates is not being attributed to me and my lack of supposed skills in the bedroom. Since I know that that is patently false, I'm really trying not to let the locker room bullshit bother me. Of course just because I am in the AV club and let Sam have her way with me, these idiot jocks think that I'm weak.

"Yo Benson, you needs to get a handle on Puckett. She's out of control. If you aren't giving her the good stuff, maybe you back, back and should send her to a real man." Rodney Harris, Ridgeway's star quarterback and head dick said snarkily.

Now I try to be an enlightened, modern man. I'm not overly sensitive but I always try my best not to hurt the feelings of any of the three women in my life. I don't give into the jankness that is/was metrosexuality, but I do keep things trimmed neat down below so nothing gets caught in Sam's teeth should I ever get up the courage to let her put her mouth near my man parts. But this a-hole is really starting to grate my chiz.

"What's wrong, Benson, Puckett got you tongue as well as your balls?" Douchebag Jock #1 quipped in what I'm sure he believed to be a witty way.

I just rolled my neck and made a valiant attempt to ignore the troglodytic Neanderthal's ranting. "Naw, Troy, Benson never had any balls to begin with. Now Puckett, I've always believed there was a reason she never wears skirts." Rodney returned laughingly.

Oh that's it. I slammed my gym locker and turned to give the trio of asses a death glare. I strode forward and used my forearm across his throat to lift and choke the ringleader, Rodney. I pressed him back against the locker bank. "Say what you want about me; fine. But you need to leave Sam out of it." I growled. His boys were trying to pull me off him, but I wasn't budging and he was starting to turn really, really red.

"God, Benson, let him go, shit. It ain't even that serious." His other friend Rickey said when he realized that I wasn't going to allow them to move me.

I gave him a hard look. "So…you'd let him talk shit like that about somebody you love?" I said calmly. "You'd let him say some jank crap like that about your girlfriend?"

Rickey actually looked like he was thinking about it. After a moment he backed away. "Sorry, Rodney, you brought this on yourself."

With a nod at Rickey, I turned my attention back to Rodney. "Now we can call this situation resolved; you can keep Samantha Puckett's name out of your vocabulary and you and I can go back to ignoring each other's very existence…or I can choke you until you lose consciousness. Your choice."

Since he was starting to turn purple, I let up just enough that he could actually answer me. "Yeah man, Sam who?" he capitulated raspily.

I let him down and he hit the floor. I gave him an evil smirk. "Just be glad I dealt with you. Sam is not going to be happy that she missed out on a chance to try out her new Atomic Texas Wedgie." I said as I gathered my stuff. Damn I need some alone time with my girlfriend. We made love for the first time after almost breaking up due to some really bad advice from Carly and a convo we overheard. It was mind-blowing and I so cannot wait to do it again. I guess I need to go and grab some condoms. "OH MY CHIZ!"

I ran out the locker room to go find Sam.

_Sam Point of View_

My Dork came running up to me in the lunch line. He was all flustered and flushed, and I couldn't help but flash back to last Thursday night. Oh yeah, Momma likes. He looked good his dark hair even darker for being wet, his eyes looking almost feral and paniced, and there was something else there that I couldn't quite name. He grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me out of the cafeteria. "What the Hell Freddicini?" I yelled. I tried to dig in my heels, but Freddie was a determined little nub today. "Momma's hungry, Fredweird, so this better be important." I groused.

He pushed me into an empty classroom. "We didn't use anything." He blurted.

"What the chiz are you babbling about Freddie?" I said crossing my arms and starting to get pissed at missing lunch.

"The other night when we consummated our relationship, we didn't use anything." Freddie stressed.

"Wanna say that chiz in American for the Puckett in the audience?" I joked. Freddie was frantic about whatever was the matter. So I tried to make him relax a little. But in this situation apparently that was exactly the wrong reaction. He grabbed my shoulder harder than I ever thought Fredward Benson would be able to and pressed a hot passionate kiss to my lips. Swiping his tongue over my bottom lip over and over until I parted my lips; then deepening the kiss until I was weak kneed.

He must have used the kiss to settle his nerves, because when he pulled back he was able to say much more succinctly, his voice sounded harsh and thick with need, but still more succinct. "The other day, last Thursday, when we decided not to breakup and to make love eight or ten times instead…you remember that night right?" He became a touch sarcastic.

"Well considering that I was sore until about two days ago- how could I possibly forget?" I returned my voice liberally sprinkled with some sarcasm of my own.

"I came in you, Sam. I came in you each and every single time. No condom, male or female… no pulling out…no contraceptive measures of any kind. Unless you happen to be on the pill?" he said that last bit alittle hopefully.

I shook my head and gave him a wry look. "Like my mother would spend money on health insurance." I grumbled. "Oh shit. What the hell am I gonna do?"

"Well its too late to do much but wait and see. If I'd remembered within seventy-two hours, there were a couple of morning after measures we could have used." He said pulling me into a hug. "But hey, if we are pregnant, we just say we used condoms and one must have broken or something."

"Alright then, two things… One, what made you think of this now?" I asked trying to ignore that Carly sounding girly voice in the back of my head pointing out that everything he said was 'I' or 'we'…not one single 'you'.

"Umm." He blushed. "I was thinking that I needed to go buy some condoms bro when my mom goes on evenings at the hospital."

"You just can't get enough of Momma, huh?" I teased.

"Nope!" he smiled, letting the p, pop. And moving to nuzzle my neck.

"Second question," I said quickly before he could distract me. "If you're all frantic worrying about us not using anything…why was Mr. Happy, so very happy?" He mumbled something into the side of my neck. I shivered in delight at the sensation. But no way was I letting him derail me from my purpose. "What Freddie?"

He sighed and pulled back looking me in my eyes. Most people refuse to meet my gaze. They think I'd take it as a sign of aggression. You know I think Freddifer told people that back in the eighth grade. "You are not going to let me not answer that are you?"

I just raised my eyebrow and gave him an evil grin. He sighed and sat in the empty teacher chair. Pulling me into his lap, he finally began to answer. "Well when I first started to think about it…I panicked. You know, we're too young. Our parents will kill us, Carmine and Chaz will lead an escape just to come and shank me. But then a thought hit me. If we are pregnant, there will be a brown haired demon running around who is the perfect combination of both of us. And that made me think about how great that would be. How much I would love it. How much I love you. Of course, then I thought about the fact that if we are pregnant, my mother will let us, make us, get married. There hasn't been a Benson born out of wedlock since the Lewis and Clark expedition."

"So what, you got a hard on at the thought of marrying me and us having a baby?" I asked shocked.

He grabbed my wrists and held my hands at my side. "Yeah." He answered with a chuckle. "I really, really like the thought of you and I together for the rest of our lives."

"Even though we're still in high school and way too young to be parents without getting into serious trouble?" I asked cautiously.

He nodded sheepishly. But I couldn't shake the feeling that he was hiding something. "Even though me pregnant is just will force you to deal with mood swings that make dudes avoid regular chicks?"

"If WE are pregnant, then I can certainly find some things to make the mood swings worth it." He chuckled. He sounded so sincere and yet so salacious at the same time.

I started to ask him what things, but decided to pull back to a very irritating point. "So if you get all hot and bothered at the thought of you and me together for-freaking-ever, why the hell did we almost break up last week?" I said my anger starting to well up and get a little out of control.

"Cause we are idiots. Who let silliness mean too much when compared to how we feel about each other. We listened to the girl who can't get past little things to form a meaningful relationship and two people whose beginning relationship _could never_ lead to a successful adult relationship." He said wisely. "We need to ignore Carly and do what's right for us. And never ever again compare what we have to anything even nominally related to Spencer. We do our own thing, and do the stuff together we want to do together. We just need to make sure that we set aside real, special time for just the two of us. there's no reason to always be in each other's pocket. I'll never try to change you, but I will try to get you to tone down the illegal activities. Just like you'll drag me kicking and screaming into several questionable actions. Hopefully we'll meet in the middle and find our own perfect kind of crazy."

"Sounds good to me." I laughed pulling my hands effortlessly from his grip. I turned in his lap and gave him a tender little kiss. "Now I've got to drag you into skipping next period. You made me miss lunch, and I'm hungry. So you are taking me to go find some food."

"Yes, Princess Puckett." He said burying his hands in my hair and giving me another of those deeply passionate kisses. "Let's skip the rest of the day, Mom's at work 'til three." He moaned.

"We'll need condoms." I said breathlessly.

He looked at me, and shook his head. "I have a few." He groaned kissing me again. "If we remember them this time." He teased. "Maybe it's too late. I'm not sure I want to have anything separating us if it's already too late." He groaned.

I dragged him out of the school and to his apartment. Freddie did have a few condoms. Three to be precise, in a little unopened box, by an hour before Crazy would be home, that Trojan Magnum box was empty.

As we lay there, cuddled together facing each other, his hands tracing the curve of my waist; Freddalupe gave me a look hot enough to melt the polar ice caps. "God, I want you again Demon. Those stupid condoms let me feel just enough to cum, but not enough to get satisfied." He whispered.

I couldn't help but agree. I'd cum every round; Freddie can be very focused when he wants something. But I missed those frippin huge orgasms that had ripped through me every time I felt his hot cum exploding against my insides. It just made everything so slippery and so damn good. "One time…just one time without one. Then we get up and shower and head over to Carly's."

Freddie Point of View

Thank God she said that. Because while I could have distracted her and tricked her into letting me have my way, but she would have kicked my ass for it later. I rolled over and moved her body under me. Kissing her deeply, I nipped and licked my way from her pretty pink lips down the strong little column of her neck, to her beautiful, sensitive nipples. I licked and sucked and nibbled them, one after the other, back and forth, until she was writhing and begging beneath me. Now Samantha Puckett's begging is not what most people would consider to be begging…it's really just exhaustive, expansive cursing and threatening. But I speak Puckett, so I know that she is begging me to fuck her. I love hearing her beg.

When she started the hit my arms, I knew that I was pushing her too far. I slid into her, and cursed. "Fuck Sam, shit. Love you so much, love being inside you. Damn Demon, you're so hot and tight and so fucking wet." I groaned. She arched up under me and I could feel the walls of her tight little pussy squeezing and clenching around me. I lost all my control. I made love to her roughly. Working my hips with short fast strokes that let me lean over and whisper, "I hope we are pregnant. I hope that you and I made a baby last week. I hope that I never have to let you go. I hope that I get to make love to you when your already sensitive nipples swell and ache. I researched pregnancy on my pearpad as I was trying to find you earlier. I want to feel you clenching around me each and every day for the next 40 weeks. You're mine now Puckett. You know exactly how obsessive I can be, and all of my focus is and will continue to be on you." I said urgently.

I felt Sam tense under me and even as I continued to pleasure us both, I braced myself for the punch I was sure was coming. Instead, she damn near threw me off, her body seized and bucked. Her, already so, very tight pussy clamped down on me and she screamed my name. My actual name. She exploded into the most intense pleasure I'd ever witnessed. Grant I've only seen her and only a dozen times so far, but still. There was nothing on this earth that could stop me from joining her in that swirling eddying sea of pleasure. I thrust as deeply as I could, feeling the very depths of her as I poured myself into her. Her name a silent scream on my lips.

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	3. Chiz Changes

Just Desserts  
>AnniKay<p>

Sam/Freddie

Disclaimer: I own Nothing…Dan Schneider along with Nick and others own this fandom and all the characters there in…Anything you recognize obviously belongs to them  
>Spoilers: Up to and including Season 5 iLove You<p>

* * *

><p>Chapter 3<br>_Sam Point of View_

I swear the past three weeks have been the longest of my entire life. Why the chiz is it that when you are waiting for something no one really cares about…like a test…time flies by; but when you're waiting on something important…like your period…time goes frickin backwards. Freddie and I have been 'studying' at his place every afternoon either before Crazy gets home from work, or after she leaves. But we've been very good students and used condoms each and every time. Even though Freddie keeps trying to convince me that that ship has sailed already.

Of course, the Nub is wrong. The Crimson Wave'll be here any day now. then the poor guy will have to hit MegloMart and start buying his condoms in bulk.

_Freddie Point of View_

Sam is pretty much living in denial. She's convinced that her period will be her right on time. Well I'm best friends with two girls, boyfriend to one of them. In fact boyfriend to the single meanest female in the entire animal kingdom. So trust me when I say I keep track of their cycles…along with those of my mother and Mrs. Briggs. Gross it may be but one does what one must to survive. Suffice it to say there are three days a month when even I avoid Princess Puckett, and those days should have happen six days ago. But it's not simply the absence of her PMS and the period which should have followed…there are other subtler changes. Her breasts, God her big pretty sensitive breasts, anyway…got distracted there a second. Her breasts are even fuller and more sensitive. Yesterday I was able to bring her to a screaming orgasm just suckling her. Her nipples also feel different on my tongue, thicker or firmer or something like that…but there is a definite difference. It's not bad, it's actually really kind of sexy. If I had the time I would spend hours sucking and nibbling those just to see the different reactions. But again I digress.

She is also napping, like a lot. I know, how can you tell a difference with Sam Puckett. But it's easy if you know her. The other day she fell asleep during iCarly rehearsal…and she hadn't even had any ham, or turkey. Speaking of ham…while Sam still eats ham like most people drink water, she's been eating way more fruits and vegetables. She has made me buy her more grapefruits, oranges, pineapples and broccoli than I ever even knew were available in the greater Seattle area. And then there is the fact that when she and I are making love her vagina is more sensitive. Stimulating her outer labia and vulva seem to arouse her as much as stimulating her clitoral hood or clitoris itself.

Now I have to admit that I've been reading so many sites and info on pregnancy and especially teen pregnancy, I'm starting to freak myself out. I really, really needed to talk to someone, like a whole heck of a lot. Spencer…he would kill me. Maybe not literally, but he would be amazingly unhelpful with his freaking out and passing out. Gibby was an option…but since what Gibby knows, so knows the world. That was a bad idea. He never means to let stuff out and usually he only tells one person…it's just that often that one person is Carly. Then Carly freaks out and repeats it loudly…then boom secret's out and life sucks.

Now the epic freak out Carls would have thrown is actually almost enough to put her in the running for this conversation, but since she doesn't know we've even become intimate and I don't feel like hearing about how we aren't entitled to keep anything private to ourselves. Besides there is the very salient fact that it would be really wrong for me to discuss this with someone without a 'need to know' before I talk to Sam about it. And I'm pretty sure she would rip out my spleen with her bare hands if I actually did so. Which means I need to bite the bullet and discuss this with Crazy-I mean my mom.

Though I will admit that I reached that decision two days ago and I still haven't been able to make myself start that conversation. But I'm starting to run low on time. Even Sam won't be able to ignore her period being a full week late for long.

Alright I'm going to do it today after Mom gets home. That gives me an hour and a half to make love to Sam before my mother kills me. I refocused my attention back onto the biology lesson. I actually zoned out not long after Sam conked out. This week we were dealing with human biology. As Mrs. Feinster lectured about the buscle groups, I wondered for a moment if I could skip my after lunch classes to have more time with Sam. But I decided against doing that. After all we were down to four condoms, and I didn't want to take the time to run to the store unless it was for a test that would negate the need for the condoms.

You know, if I am wrong and all the perceived changes in Sam's body are simply PMS or something, I'm going to have to start buying condoms in bulk.

_Carly Point of View_

Something's going on with Sam and Freddie. For like the last month, they disappear almost every day for hours and when they finally show up, they're weirdly normal. Like Freaky normal. But at the same time they are doing stuff that makes me think they are so up to something. I mean for criminy's sake Sam is eating FRUIT!

Gibby says they are in love and I should stop overanalyzing everything and just 'enjoy my friends' happiness'. At least that's what he says now that Sam is back down to her normal level of Gibby abuse. But I can't. they are keeping secrets again. I feel all left out and…and third wheely. So this afternoon I'm going to find out what they do locked up in Freddie's apartment every day after school.

I made my decision at lunch, after watching Sam devour like the entire salad bar, and after that the rest of the day seemed to fly by. We got to Bushwell plaza and had the dubious pleasure of being yelled at by Lewbert for walking in his precious lobby. When we got to eight, Sam and Freddie went into his apartment and I went into mine. I grabbed an apple and ate it as I looked for the key Mrs. Benson had given Spencer so he could check in on Freddie when she goes to one of her Aggressive Parenting seminar weekends. Ah ha. Found them. Do not want to know how they got zipped into the couch cushion…but that does explain what's been scratching my legs when I'm sitting there watching Celebrities Underwater.

I'm across the hall a minute later, ignoring Gibby's voice in the back of my head telling me that I'm being stupid. Unlocking the door, I slip in and close the door quietly. I make my way down the hall to Freddie's room quiet as a mouse. I could heat weird sounds coming down the hall towards me. It almost sounded like Sam was slapping Freddie only her hands were wet or something.

"God Demon, so, chiz, so damn tight." I heard Freddie say. His voice sounded all funky….pained or something. I push open his bedroom door ready to convince Sam to let him out of a headlock or something…and almost screamed.

Freddie and Sam were on Freddie's bed…naked! Sam was on top of him but for once she wasn't hurting him, or if she was he was enjoying it. Freddie was on the bottom, but he sure seemed to be the one in control. Sam had tons of those hickeys and bite marks on her neck and back and bruises on her hips and bottom. OMG they were doing the sex.

"Cum again for me Princess Puckett. So beautiful when you cum." He growled. One hand disappeared from her hip to reappear threaded into her hair and he pulled her down fully on top of him. I covered my eyes and spun to leave the room. But I was too distracted to leave quietly like I entered. I hit the door jam, careened off it and bounced off Freddie's dresser to land on my butt.

"Oof!" I grunted.

"What the CHIZ!" Sam yelled looking back over her shoulder. "Carly?"

"Well there went that orgasm." Freddie muttered. "What the hell are you doing here Carly? He asked as he hurriedly pulled the covers over his and Sam's nudity.

_Sam Point of View_

"Not the naked sex thing." Carly hissed self-righteously. She can be such a baby sometimes. "You're not supposed to be—" she trailed off gesturing at us unable to find the prissiest words possible to describe me and Freddie's current occupation.

"What Carly? I'm not supposed to make love to my girlfriend?" Freddie said caustically. "Sam and I aren't allowed to have anything at all that's just ours?"

"We-We're supposed to be best friends?" she defended weakly.

"We are Carls. But me and the Nub…we're together. Like for real together." And it's almost like you were happy to see us get together, but then you started trying to wreck us at every turn. I thought to myself. Instead I said gently, "Look…go home. Frederly and I, we'll come over and talk it out in a few. Just let us get cleaned up and dressed. "

She bobbed her head and scrambled to her feet and all but ran out of the apartment. I turned my attention abck to Freddie. I kissed him passionately, grinding my hips up and down on him just a little. "Good thing you didn't do something stupid like move me off of you, Nub." I growled. "We're gonna get those orgasms she interrupted…then we're gonna get dressed and go have a talk with Miss Carlotta Shay."

He groaned a sexy sound that never failed to make me hot as hell and thrust up into me even as he opended his mouth to say. "No time. Not if we want to shower. We've barely got half an hour before my mom gets home."

I gave him a smug, arrogant smile. "Who said anything about a shower." I laughed and started circling my hips and clenching my walls around his dick. It took some time, but we managed to get back to the edge. We made it to the edge of bliss and we flew over it, him seconds behind me. We barely got dressed and the room aired out before crazy got home.

She caught us at the front door. "Samantha." She said almost politely.

"Crazy." I returned in the same tone. I groaned at the look on Freddie's face. He loves his mom, and I know it bugs him that she and I hate each other. But in my defense she hated me first. "Look, I'm gonna lay it all out. You don't like me. You think I'm a no good delinquent. I don't like you…I kinda think you're an over-protective smotherer. But we both love the Nub and neither of us is going anywhere. So like a truly idiotic man once said, 'can't we all just get along'."

She gave me a weird look. It was like she was trying to read my soul. Then she sighed, a long-put upon sigh. "I suppose. For Freddie's sake. I can try to tolerate you. After all, at least you aren't that Carly girl. She never appreciates my Freddie. Not that I would want her to. There was something 'disturbing' about his fascination with her."

I couldn't help but laugh. "I know…right? The two of them together would have been unnatural."

"They're just so-similar." Marissa said with a shiver of disgust. "Sometimes she reminds me so much of myself at her age that the thought of them together made me want to vomit."

"You know…I'm standing right here." Freddie said gruffly.

I leaned over and gave him a quick peck. "I know Baby. I know. Now hush…Mama's talking to Mommy."

He laughed. "No, Mama's gonna go talk to Carlotta…Freddie's gonna talk to his mommy." He kissed me back quickly. He hustled me out the door with a long kiss. "I'll be over there in a few."

"You better be…I've got a feeling Carly's gonna be a pain in the ass about this." I grumbled.

"If she is, I'll make it up to you." he said dipping back into his door as I entered the Shays'. Yeah he will.

_Freddie Point of View_

I dragged my mom over to the couch. "Mom…I need to talk to Marissa Benson, RN…NOT Marissa Benson, MOM and Aggressive Parenting cult member."

"Is this about the condoms I've been seeing in your nightstand drawer when I do my pornography checks?" She asked resignedly.

"MOM! Privacy isn't just a word!" I shouted. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself before continuing. "Yes. I guess you know that Sam and I are sexually active." I cut her off before she could say anything derogatory about Sam. "Stop mom. For God's sake we're seventeen years old. We were both virgins, and it was a decision we made together." Or our hormones and emotions made together anyway.

"I will try to not 'freak out' about the fact that my son is no longer pure and has been doing shameful things with that, that."

"Mom." I said warningly. She threw up her hands in surrender, so I continued. "We had a condom malfunction."

"Oh my God. Freddie no." She quaked…literally shook. "What happened?"

"I think the first ones I got were too small." I said quietly. It was true that first three pack had pinched something awful…but since the smaller size seemed to help my staying power until I could learn stamina on my own I wasn't going to complain. "Whatever the reason, one broke while I was making love to Sam." I hope that alluding to my feelings for Sam will help ameliorate what I have to say next. "She hasn't gotten her period this month." I pulled out my PearPhone and pulled up the app I use to track Sam and Carly's cycles. Mom and Mrs. Briggs are on my PearPad.

"Are you sure she hasn't. Maybe she just didn't feel comfortable talking with you about it?" Mom asked a bit desperately. "And why do you have that charted on your phone in the first place?"

"Mom…I love Sam. But I need forewarning to know when I should stock up on ham and chocolate and foreign bacon. I need to know when I should actively avoid her." I laughed when she nodded understandingly. "She was supposed to start a week ago. She's still sure that it will come…but the more I read the less I think it will."

Registered Nurse Benson reared her head…finally. "What symptomology is she displaying?" she asked clinically.

I tried to keep up the clinical detachment when I answered. "Her breast are experiencing extra fullness and sensitivity, her nipples are changing…subtly but changing. Mom…Sam is eating fruits and vegetables. Today at school she almost single handedly ate the entire fresh vegetable contents of the salad bar."

Mom did know Sam well enough to understand how strange that was. "Oh my." She breathed. But she gave me one of her I'm your mother and I know you better than you know yourself looks. "And you are concerned?"

"I'm not concerned, exactly." I mumbled.

"Then why are we having this conversation now. If Sam has no clue if she is or not what are you hoping to gain by this conversation. You know the available choices if she is."

I raised an eyebrow. "If we are pregnant, and it's we, mom…then we'll be keeping the baby." I said sternly. "If we are pregnant, than I need to ask that you let Sam come live here. Her home is barely fit for a person her age let alone a baby, and I'm not certain Pam wouldn't do something like push her down a flight of stairs."

My Mother gave me a stern look. "If she is carrying your child, damn right she will be coming to live here. She will be your _wife_, so yes she will live here. And you will both go to college here." another long searching look. "Have you talked any of this over with Samantha?"

"She and I talked about it when we realized what had happened." I answered honestly.

"So she knows that it may be a possibility and she's still in denial?" Mom asked gently.

I sighed. "Her mom isn't the most caring individual I'm fairly certain that Sam is scared."

_Sam Point of View_

I ain't ever scared. But I am pissed. Carly has been ranting for twenty minutes about what she saw. "Oh shut UP!" I finally yelled. "So Fredweird and I are boning. How is that any of your business?"

"We're best friends… you guys promised no more secrets." She said staunchly.

"This wasn't a secret. It just wasn't any of your business. You are being straight up JANK!" I returned. "Being with Freddie is something that's just for me. For us. Why are you trying to make this about you?"

"Aren't you two a little too young to be doing…that?" She asked ignoring my question. "Couldn't this mess everything up?"

"Carly, we're 17…not 7. If we want to fuck each other's brains out it's perfectly fine." I said exasperatedly. Even thinking words like that let me know the Nub is rubbing off on me in more than just a sexual way. "Freddie and I are TOGETHER, Carly. If we didn't let you and Gibby and Marissa, or the damn application drama, or your jank ass advice mess us up, why would physically expressing our feelings mess everything up?"

"In health class Mrs. Briggs said that doing the sex changes everything. And you could get some kind of disease." She started yelling.

"Yeah it'd be pretty hard for two virgins to give each other a STD, Carls. No wonder you did even worse in that class than I did." I laughed.

"Well you could end up pregnant." Carly shouted. "You could end up pregnant, and not finish school and end up just like your mom."

OK. Carlotta Shay doesn't like change. I've known that for a while and usually I can make exceptions for her when she goes off her rocker and shit…but now she went too far.

Before I could erupt all over her however we heard a voice from the door way. "Is that what you really think of us, Carls. You think that I would disappear on Sam…leave her and my child…you think that she would become an emotionally distant man chasing bitch? Real nice way to think of your 'best friends'." Freddie said sadly. I don't know how long he'd been standing there, but apparently it was long enough that he heard her last comment. "I will never leave Sam, and I won't leave my child. Yes we Might be pregnant. And if we are than we will become husband and wife. That means there will be things we won't discuss with you. Best friends sharing every secret is great when you're kids…but we're borderline adults now Carly chiz changes."

"What you need to decide is if you want to still be our friend as young adults or if you want to stay a kid." I said as nicely as I could. "You are out best friend, Carly, if you want to be." I moved over to Freddie and he pressed a kiss to my temple. The room started to grey out and I heard him yelling my name and then for Crazy. Never passed out before…weird.

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	4. Apocalyptic Chiz

Just Desserts  
>AnniKay<p>

Sam/Freddie

Disclaimer: I own Nothing…Dan Schneider along with Nick and others own this fandom and all the characters there in…Anything you recognize obviously belongs to them  
>Spoilers: Up to and including Season 5 iLove You<p>

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><p><em>Freddie Point of View<em>

When Sam collapsed against me, I think my heart stopped and I know my brain crashed. I scooped her up into my arms and carried her down the stairs. My mind was completely scrambled with worry. I didn't do the smart thing and lay her on the floor and elevate her feet. I wasn't even together enough to just take her to the Shay sofa or Carly's bed. Nope I was totally illogical. I wanted my mother. So I carried her through the Shay apartment and across the hall to my apartment…yelling for my mother the whole time.

Spencer, hearing the commotion and sensing my distress was kind enough to open the doors for me. Of course seeing me frantically calling for my mommy while carrying the unconscious form of his pseudo little sister meant that he didn't just open doors for me, he followed.

Mom took one look at me, freaking out and carrying Sam and she went into Nurse Benson Mode. She cleared the couch, putting a pillow at one end. "Lay her down here, feet on the pillow. What happened?"

"She just, she just walked across the studio and passed out." I said worriedly. "She and Carly were talking about what Carly had walked in on earlier," I said without explaining what she had seen. "And Carly said something she shouldn't have and I told Carly off a little bit, cause Sam was hurt and pissed and I didn't want her to say anything she might regret later. Could it be stress? I mean Sam got mad and then I stole her thunder." I babbled incoherently as I laid Sam on the couch per Mom's instructions.

"I doubt Sam fainted because she couldn't yell at Carly, Freddie. When is the last time she ate?" Mom asked hiding a smile. She wasn't really used to seeing me like this. I tend to be quite calm under pressure.

"She had lunch. Pretty much cleaned out the salad bar…and had a whole pizza. But she slept through fifth period, so she didn't have her usual mid afternoon snack. I don't have sixth with her. But we didn't stop on the way home. We haven't all week." I know I shouldn't be smiling but I can feel one crawling across my face as I remember exactly why we'd rushed straight home and how we'd spent all that extra time.

Mom groaned. "Fredward Benson! Stop thinking about what you and Samantha get up to when I'm not home and think about why she might have fainted. She hasn't eaten anything since lunch?"

"No nothing." I replied definitively. "If she had, I probably would have had to buy it for her." I grumbled. I really don't like Pam Puckett most days.

With a nod, Mom gave me a reassuring smile. "She probably just needs food. She tends towards hypoglycemia, so for her not to have eaten since lunch…it just means that her blood sugar is in the tank. Go make her some bacon, and a big bowl of Cream of Wheat, or oatmeal which ever she likes better. Make it with the real cream and real sugar. She can stay her until you finish up. Then…only when all the food is ready, wake her up and help her eat. She can have orange juice…and plenty of it…but no Peppy Cola or Coffee. I'm going to run to the store and grab a test in case her fainting is indicative of something else."

Spencer spoke up for the first time. He'd been so quiet, that I'd kind of forgotten he was even there. "What _kind_ of test?" he asked suspiciously.

"Probably the exact one you are thinking of. And before you go off and start freaking out…You are coming with me Spencer Shay." Mom told him firmly. "I don't trust you not to hurt my Freddie. Besides, I'm not buying that damn test by myself." She ended dragging Spencer out of the apartment.

I looked down at Sam and had to stop and smile. If she is- if we are- then everything is about to change.

_Marissa Point of View_

"Alright, Spencer Shay, tell me everything you know about Samantha's home life." I said as soon as I closed the door behind us.

"You mean they are…But they're just. I mean I didn't until I was, like, twenty one. What are they…"

"Spencer, focus! I need to know if I can handle this damn test being positive or not. Because right now all I can think is that that delinquent is going to ruin my son's life." I cried.

He gave me a hug. "No, no…you can't look at it like that. Freddie…this might just save Sam. She's a great kid, and smart as all chiz. But eventually she would have buried all the good and kind under the anger and rage and disappointment. And one more light would be gone from the world. It's taken me, Carly, Freddie and Gibby all to keep that darkness back in her life, every day she goes home…it's like she descends back into hell." He said repressing a shiver.

I sniffed a few more times and pulled myself together. "Thank you Spencer. I needed to be reminded of that. I've often wondered how different Sam would have been with a better home life. Her twin got out and is a very polite and intelligent young lady." I do find it amusing that my son still believes that Melanie is a prank Samantha made up to torment him. The girls may look alike but not even Samantha could have pulled off the dual roles that well.

"Don't let Sam's unwillingness fool you. She may not do homework, but she still has a high C average…what does that tell you?" Spencer asked me.

"That our school system leaves much to be desired." I said. He gave me a hard look so I thought deeper. "Her test scores must be through the roof." I finally reasoned out.

Spencer nodded. "And you should have seen her SAT and ACT scores. If she had someone encouraging her, I don't think there would be anything that could stop her."

I nodded determinedly. "Well then, we shall just have to encourage her, won't we? Freddie and 'Carly' can only do so much."

"Why do you do that?" He said walking away. "Just when I start to think that I could get along with you…you go and mess it up. How would you like it if I said Freddie's name in that tone every time I talk to you?"

"I apologize." I said rather sincerely. "I suppose that now that Freddie has chosen the lesser of two evils, I can cease my disregard for your sister." He threw me another look. "I'm sorry; it's just that she would be far more likable if she weren't quite so spoiled and immature. She reminds me very much of myself at her age. Perhaps life won't be as cruel to her as it was to me, if she will only learn now that everything will not work out just the way she wants it to. You, Freddie, even Sam…you have insulated her in a world where she gets everything she wants, and it is as much of a disservice to her as my overprotection and coddling has been to Freddie."

I stood still for a moment as I thought about how life had forced me to mature very quickly one rainy afternoon twelve years ago. Thanks to a stupid executive who'd decided he could drive back to work after a three martini lunch, I'd lost my husband, my unborn child, and the ability to have any other children. If it weren't for having Freddie to take care of, I'm sure that I would have joined them. Perhaps I was a bit overprotective of Freddie, but who wouldn't be. And poor Samantha, if she thinks I'll be lightening up on Freddie now, she has another think coming; I just have her and the new baby to mother now as well.

"I know she can be a bit much, but Carly's still my sister. No brother worth the title is going to be ok with someone talking chiz about their sister."

"You're right." I said nodding. We walked in companionable silence to the Walgreens near the apartments. "You've been a great big brother to Carly, Spencer. Not many young men would have stepped up and taken care of her as you have." I told him with a gentle smile as we made our way to the needed area. I always find it amusing that they keep the pregnancy test with the condoms. Yet today as I grabbed the test for Samantha, I found myself picking up a large box of the brand and size I've seen in Freddie's nightstand the last few pornography checks. With a wry grin I couldn't help but wonder if we'd be in this position had I not been quite so rigorous in maintaining my anti-pornography stance.

"Guess they put them together to really drive home the point, huh?" Spencer said with a wry smile of his own.

After paying for my purchases and waiting while Spencer paid for his own purchase, the largest pack of Twizzlers they had, I asked quietly. "How much of a difficulty will it be to get Pamela Puckett to sign the papers allowing Samantha to marry my Freddie?"

Spencer tripped on air and went down hard. "Marry?" he squeaked.

"There has not been a Benson born out of wedlock since 1802. And even then the couple was handfasted there just wasn't a preacher to make things all right and proper." I said staunchly. "This child will be born on the right side of the blanket and with all the I's dotted and the T's crossed."

"So you really think she is?" he asked me worriedly.

"Samantha has been eating Fruits and Vegetables, Spencer."

He sighed in defeat. "Then either she's pregnant, or the apocalypse is coming."

_Freddie Point of View_

By the time Sam had started coming around, I had the iron and folic acid rich Cream of Wheat ready and I had cooked her an entire of the thick cut bacon that I keep here just for when she's cranky. I put everything on the coffee table and squatted in front of her. "Princess Puckett." I whispered giving her sleep soft mouth a sweet kiss.

"Ugh…What the hell? Do I smell bacon, Nub?" she groaned.

"You do, in fact, smell bacon, Demon. I also have creamery good Cream of Wheat, with lots of butter." I taunted her nose with the bowl.

"Ooh, gimme." She said trying to sit up.

"Slowly, slowly." I advised. Once she was sitting up, I handed her the bowl and watched as she drained it. Drinking it rather than bothering with the spoon. "Good?"

"You know what Mama likes." She smirked. "Now gimme the bacon." She said snatching the plate.

"Can I have a piece?" I asked knowing what her answer was sure to be.

"Get your own." She said munching quietly with a small smile on her beautiful face.

"That is my own." I groused teasingly. I reached over carefully and stole a strip. I ate half and then fed her the other half making sure to keep my fingers out of the way of her teeth. "So you ready to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" she groaned licking the last bacony goodness from her fingers.

"Sam…you fainted." I said gently pulling her close.

"Like hell. I may have passed out. But I don't 'faint'." She said giving me a love tap to the thigh that made my leg tingle with pins and needles for the next few minutes.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine-you 'passed out'. your period was supposed to be here last week, and considering that I have made love to you every single day this week, I think we can safely say that it's late." I said tired of being careful when I just wanted to get the question answered.

She gave me a dirty look, before giving me a dirty smile. "Where did Crazy go? And More importantly will she be gone long?" she asked pulling my head to hers in a sweltering kiss. Our kiss got even deeper when I lifted her from the couch and settled her across my lap.

Unfortunately my mom and Spencer chose that precise moment to come back and Carly was right there with them. "Is Sam ok? Freddie never came back to apologize. What happened? Why did she faint? Did Freddie mean it? Is there really a possibility that Sam could be pregnant?" she babbled.

Mom just looked at us and groaned. "That's what got you two in this dilly of a pickle. Samantha-go and take this. Now!" Mom stressed the last word so much even Sam jumped.

"What's that?" my blond headed demon said looking at the box like she might a frilly pink skirt, or a particularly venomous snake.

"It's a very small piece of the Rock of Gibraltar." Mom said sarcastically. "It's a pregnancy test, what do you think it is. Now go in the friggin' bathroom and pee on the friggin' stick." Mom growled. Then she blushed. "Pardon my language, but please Samantha. Now!"

Sam took the box, looked at me and gave me one of her extremely protracted grunting groans. "Uuuuugggggghhhhhh!"

"Nnnnuuuaaaaagggggghhhhh." I groaned back, shooing her towards my bedroom and its ensuite bathroom. She would have more privacy there. Hiding a smirk I called after her. "Want me to come with?" I said sugary sweetly.

She stopped but didn't turn around. "I should say yes, just to find out how you'd get yourself out of that hole you just dug." Sam cracked before resuming her forward movement. "You know Marissa, I had to pee like a race horse until you handed me this thing." She tossed out with a little laugh. I don't know if Mom or Spencer heard the nervousness and fear in that laugh but I'm sure that Carly did.

The second Sam was out of earshot; Carly came over and started slapping at me. "What the frilly heck Freddie…you're supposed to be the smart one. You should have known better. If you're going to be doing-that" she said stressing the word and widening her eyes while gesturing in the direction my meat loving demon had just headed. "You need to take precautions and use one of those –you knows."

"Yeah, Freddie. I mean, sure Sam's like another little sister to me and you're almost like the little brother I never had- but if you came to me and need to borrow some 'Condoms'," he stressed the word rolling his eyes at Carly's childishness. "I'd have given them to you. In fact, what happened to the pack I gave you when you turned 16? They would not have expired for a couple more years."

"We used them." I said defensively. "They were too small and they broke…hence the test. We aren't stupid. We took precautions." I let my exasperation bury the signs that I was lying my ass off. We did, but not the day this baby was conceived. If there is a baby.

"Too small?" Carly asked. "Those –thingies- come in sizes?"

This is why she flunked Sex Ed. I thought to myself. "Yes Carly. From average to XXXL. Though I think you have to order anything above the 2xs off the internet."

"We should order some of the biggest ones and fill them with tapioca pudding and chuck them at Lewbert for a 'Messin with Lewbert' segment." Sam said walking back out with the stick flat across her palm. "The kids will just see us covering Lewbert with something gross…but the older audience will completely lose their chiz."

Spencer looked thoughtful. "If you warm the pudding up, just a little bit…I bet you Lewbert will hurl, or cry…or maybe even both."

I looked at Mom expecting her face to be covered with disgust and righteous indignation and for her to be stuttering over a defense for Poor Lewbert. Instead she seemed to be fighting back laughter. "Adding salt would make it much more realistic." I said reasonably. That did it. We fell like dominoes. Mom started laughing first, followed quickly by Sam and then me and Spencer.

Carly looked around and just pouted. "I don't get it. I bet it's dirty and that's why I don't get it." She groused which only made the rest us laugh even more.

By the time we'd steeled back down, my mom was looking at her watch. Sam was staring at that stick without looking at the results window. I'd seen that look before-usually right before she had to go into Principal Franklin's office when Briggs and Howard had taken over as principal. It was her 'I ain't never scared…but I really don't want to do this' look.

I reached out and gently took the strip from her hand. Carly groaned, eeewwww, in the background but apparently our silly friend hasn't yet realized that Sam and I have been swapping bodily fluids for a while now. Besides, Sam had capped the test strip and at the very least wiped it off. She's sloppy, not slovenly. I looked at it carefully before turning to my mother. "It's got two vertical lines. What does that mean?" I asked. "You do realize that they have these nifty ones that just say pregnant or not pregnant….right. Why couldn't you have gotten that one or at least one with a plus or a minus?"

Mom gave me a 'Watch it young man' look before answering. "I simply purchased the test with the best hCG indicator." We all looked at her with dazed and confused expressions. Spencer even made the universal 'that went completely over my head' sign. "That one reads pregnancy hormones earlier." She dumbed it down for the rest of us. "And two lines mean that Samantha will need to go home and pack her things. She's not staying in an unsafe environment with my grandchild." She said taking a seat on the closest surface, which turned out to be the coffee table.

Sam muttered. "I grew up just fine there."

"Yes, well you're a Benson now…or will be VERY soon. So you can grow the rest of the way up just fine right here." Mom chided. "And don't think that everything will be sunshine and roses, young lady. I'm not going to go any easier on you than I do on Freddie. You're smart. Stop hiding behind the attitude. And you two will not be turning this apartment into a…a European youth hostel. Samantha, you will be staying in the guest room until we can get your mother's permission and you two become husband and wife.

Carly came over and pulled Sam into a hug. Ignoring the fact that not an hour before she had been ranting and raving against this very set of circumstances. "You're gonna be a mommy, and I'll be the cool Aunt Carly, and take her out and buy her pink, and teach her how to be girly. And Freddie will teach her how to do all that techie stuff and you can show her how to hog tie a Neville." She babbled excitedly.

Over her shoulder Sam and I shared a look of rebelliousness. I seriously doubt anything will stop us from being together whenever we can. I cannot wait to feel her clenching around me again without one of those damn thingies.

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><p>I love reviews the way Sam loves Ham...meaning I want the all the time and I start to get violent if I don't get them.<p>

Save me from Anger Management Classes...Review


	5. Holy Chiz

Just Desserts  
>AnniKay<p>

Sam/Freddie

Disclaimer: I own Nothing…Dan Schneider along with Nick and others own this fandom and all the characters there in…Anything you recognize obviously belongs to them  
>Spoilers: Up to and including Season 5 iLove You<p>

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><p><em><span>Sam Point of View<span>_

Say what you want about Marissa Benson, but Crazy is one organized and fucking relentless chick. It took her less than three weeks and she not only had me moved out of my mom's hovel and into the Benson guestroom…which would eventually be repurposed for the nursery, according to Marissa; she had also tracked my Mom down in Canada. Apparently Pam had made a trip north to land of politeness and moose to score some of life's little necessities…you know valium, oxycodone, zanax, Percocet…you know, the little things that make life worth living. Marissa had even managed to drag Pam's ass back to Seattle for a face to face meeting.

I don't know what was said between those two women, but Marissa came out with my mom's signature on each and every document; in triplicate even. Pam walked out shaking her head, and looking a little dazed and confused, like she was waking up from a week long bender with the really good shit followed by twenty four hours of night terrors. "That's gonna be your mother in law?" she muttered. "Damn, sorry kid. Look, tell me when you pop, I kept the baby blanket your Nona Puckett knitted you. She made me promise I'd give it to you. She swore she'd haunt me if I didn't pass them on to you for your kids. Evil old bitch would find a way to do it too." She said striding out.

"Hell yeah she would." I said remembering the old lady fondly. She'd died when I was in second grade. Dad had split soon thereafter. Spineless schmuck was too scared of his mother in law to dip out on his family while she was still alive. Puckett women never ditch their last name. But since I know how important passing his father's name on will be to Freddie, I guess I can be the good one here and compromise…we can hyphenate the kids names.

Marissa got Pam's signatures on all the paperwork, and had it notarized last week. So now its bumfuck early on a Monday morning and she's dragging me and Freddie to the King County Courthouse. The first set of paperwork doesn't take very long to file. We were given an official looking document and then Marissa immediately drags us to a different office. There we fill out a few more pieces of chiz and that should have been fairly quick too, but the chick behind the counter is really starting to work my last natural. She keeps shooting me these looks looking between my already noticeable baby bump and Freddie, like 'look at the little tramp…she probably got knocked up on purpose, just looking for a meal ticket.'

Freddie apparently noticed as well. "Could you please stop looking at my Fiancée like that?" He finally growled.

Marissa sighed and gave me a tight smile. "I was expecting this stage to kick in soon." She told me. "Benson men go through pregnancy with their wives. First and second trimester they become moody and horribly overprotective. I was hoping that given Freddie's more cerebral nature, he'd be a bit less reactive." She turned to Freddie. "Now Fredward Benson, please ignore the judgmental woman behind the counter. Samantha has Doctor's appointment at nine thirty and we need to get there a bit early. Not to mention that I'd like to get you two to school at some point today, if at all possible." Turning back to the window, Marissa took on her pseudo polite tone. "Can we please finish this paperwork? My daughter in law is hypoglycemic and pregnant. If she vomits in your waiting room because you are mentally vilifying her instead of doing your job…I will report you to your supervisor."

Thank God, things went quicker after that. Which was doubly important because the second Marissa said the word vomit, it suddenly became a real battle not to. Thankfully Freddie is a god amongst teenage boys, because while we couldn't bring food or water into the building, he did make sure that he always had spearmint gum on him now. And that stuff helped out a whole chiz load. Ten minutes later we were heading out and who did I run into but my friggin parole officer.

"Sam…What are you doing here?" Gordon Jennings asked a bit confused, but still sounding happy to see me. "I didn't see your name on the docket."

"She is not here on trial." Marissa said with a small slightly pained smile. "She's here for a much happier occasion. She and my son just filed the paperwork to get a marriage license." She extended her hand. "I am Marissa Benson and this is my son, Fredward."

"I recognize Freddie from iCarly. I must say that I got a little chocked up when he kissed Sam a few months ago." Gordy told her giving me a little smirk. He turned and captured Marissa's hand in his huge mitt. "It's very nice to meet you both. I'm Gordon Jennings, Sam's friendly neighborhood probation officer." He said giving her a supposedly charming smile. I guess Gordon is alright looking for an old guy. Tall, he had to be like six foot something. He's got that dark hair, light eyes combo that other chicks seem to like. His suits suck, and he's constantly loosing girlfriends because they think he should use his law degree to, you know, actually practice law and make some real moolah. "Sam, if you move, don't forget to change your contact information with me." He said calmly, as though his clients get married all the time.

Marissa chimed back in. "Is that a long process? She has a doctor's appointment at nine thirty, but I'd prefer not to have to come back over here later."

Gordon laughed a little. "I hate coming over here myself. My office is actually over near ridgeway. I'm only over here because one of my kids is on the docket this morning."

"You're actual kid…or another juvie?" I asked curiously. Gordon could be a baby daddy even if he's not married. The Bensons may be stuck in the eighteen hundreds…but very few other folks were.

He gave me a quelling look. "Another kid like you Sam. I don't have any actual kids." I could hear the question in his voice and I could see the way he strained not to look down at my baby bump. He was itching to ask if I was knocked up. One thing I do like about Gordy is he never assumes anything. He'll ask you why you did something rather than just assume he knows. "So I take it triple congratulations are in order?" he finally vocalized when I refused to rise to the bait.

"Triple?" Freddie asked.

"Moving out of hell, getting married, having a baby." Gordon answered with a smile.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Hey did you know that if you use a rubber that's too small, those suckers pop like an overfilled water balloon?" I asked keeping my voice innocent and light just to make Gordon as uncomfortable as possible. "Yep. Big boy right here tore through that sucker like a wet paper towel." I taunted. Unfortunately the kid decided to take this moment to remind me that pregnancy isn't all chiz and giggles, and making grown up cringe. I got woozy enough to lean into Freddie and sighed. This chiz sucks. "Sorry Gordy, love to stay and chat, but I'm gonna hurl if I don't eat like soon."

He looked me over and reached into his briefcase. "Hey kiddo, I know you hate fruit…but it should help." He said gently, handing me a big ass granny smith apple.

I wiped it off by rubbing it roughly against Freddie's chest before taking a big bite. "Ooh. So good." I moaned. "Freddie, Frednub…Mama wants more of these."

Freddie laughed at the shocked look on Gordon's face. "The baby demands fruit and veggies. It won't let her rest unless she eats better." He said as he whipped out his PearPhone and made a notation.

"Kid's already a miracle worker." Gordon mumbled. He went back into his case and handed Marissa a card. "You can swing by and change her address anytime this afternoon. And if she wants more of those I get them at the Fremont Sunday's Market on Evanston." He turned to me and gave me a wry smile. "Sam, I'd tell you to stay out of trouble, but…too late. So instead, I say don't do anything illegal. We'll call this our face to face for the month, but don't forget to call in. Let me know if you need anything, anything at all. Don't forget to let me know when you have the baby shower…and if you invite me to the wedding…I might just get you a gift." He turned to Freddie and they shook hands. "Congrats, buddy. No matter what anyone tries to tell you…you've got a good one in Sam."

Freddie threw me a smirk. "I've know my blonde headed Demon too long to believe otherwise." He told Gordon sincerely and we said our goodbyes and headed to the doctor's office.

Marissa was nice enough to swing me through a Mr. Smoothie Drive through on the way. Two humongous all fruit smoothies and a bacon croissant later and I was feeling ready to face the world again. We made it to Doctor Leven's office exactly on time and, of course, had another mountain of paperwork to fill out…or so I thought. Apparently this doctor's office is smart; you can fill everything out online. Freddie had completed and submitted everything last week. Nub knows Mama well. He didn't even have to ask me any of the information.

When we got called to the back, the nurse took my blood pressure and all that crab. Of course Fredweird had an app that would allow him to record the info from each of our visits and keep a running summary and comparison of it all. He also had way too many damn questions. Then I had to go pee in a damn cup. Woo-damn-hoo. Hey, did you know there us a whole protocol for giving a piss sample. Well there is …who knew?

Then the silly bottle blonde nurse chick came in all smiling and happy "Congratulations, you're pregnant!" Yeah like I'd be here suffering the indignity of a freakin' pelvic exam if I wasn't. "Now this visit I'll need you to undress completely. You can put on this Paper Gown and cover with this sheet." She said kindly before turning to Freddie. "Sir, you can step into the hall until she is ready."

"Hell no. He can stay right here." I said irritably. "He's already seen me naked…otherwise I wouldn't be knocked up now, now would I?"

"But…" she stammered.

Freddie shook his head. "Sorry. If Sam wants me to stay then I'm going to have to stay." He said trying and failing not to sound happy about it.

Thankfully Frednub has a backbone of steel…'cause no matter how Nurse Cheery kept babbling, he would not be moved. Finally she gave up and left us alone. Freddie helped me undress. I didn't need the help…been dressing and undressing myself since I was three. But hey its fun, and considering what I' about to have to go through…I'll take all the fun I can get beforehand.

Eventually Dr. Leven showed her face. She was pretty. Pushing forty and even shorter than I am, that was really kind of the ultimate coolness. She had the like most amazing brown skin and her hair was super cool, jet black with two white streaks right in front where you'd part it for a side part. She told us what the rest of the appointment would be like then she proceeded to force me to suffer through the indignity that is a fucking pap smear. Freddie stayed well away from ground zero, carefully holding my hand and standing next to my chest. Brest check, and then Dr. Leven did the some magic thing with this Doppler doohickey and my baby bump and Freddie leans down to press a kiss to my forehead as the most amazing sound fills the room.

Dr. Leven gave the machine a weird look, but she gives us a reassuring smile before Freddie can start to pepper her with questions. She stood and quickly headed to the door. "Tracey, can you help me get Samantha and Freddie to the ultrasound room?"

Freddie looked at me, fear washing the awe from his face. "Is there something wrong?"

She smiled gently. "There is nothing wrong. The Doppler just had an error, and since I can't get the information I need from it, I'm going to get it by performing an ultrasound today rather than waiting for Sam's next visit." She assured us.

I was moved into the neighboring room with precision and thankfully neither of them tried to make me get dressed just to get undressed again. I was cool until she pulled out her 'magic wand'. "What are you planning to do with that?" I asked…cautiously, yeah it was cautiously not threateningly at all.

Dr. Leven looked at Freddie who'd paled considerably. "I'm going to insert the ultrasound probe into your vaginal canal. It will allow me to view your uterus."

"Uhh…I ain't Mary…but only Freddie's done what you're planning to do with that thing." I said testily.

"It won't hurt, Sam…I promise." She said patting my leg soothingly.

"Fine, but if it does hurt…I get to hurt you." I snarled.

"Demon, no threatening the Doctor." Freddie hissed.

"No, Freddie…it's perfectly alright." Doc said with a chuckle. A minute later we were looking at the screen confused as hell. "Now, I'm going to circle the amniotic sack…the container within your uterus that holds the baby and provides it cushioning and the like." She said something else that I didn't catch. And using the computer and mouse she circled two different things.

Freddie gave me a sweet smile, but then he gave the monitor a hard look. The same look he gives a particularly difficult section of code. "Doctor…if that Amniotic sac has one baby…is that…are there two babies in the bigger sac. Am I seeing that right?" he asked doing his scientific and reasonable voice he likes to hide behind when he gets scared, or shocked, and doesn't want to admit it.

"What the chiz!" I yelled.

Doctor Leven looked at my chart then back at me. "Do twins run in your family?"

"Yeah, I have an identical twin…perfect, prissy Melanie." I groaned.

"Wait Melanie really is real?" Freddie asked surprised.

"Duh!" I returned, not even trying to hide my laughter. He gave me his patented 'Oh, you're gonna get it, Puckett' look. I call it patented…but he's really the only person with the balls to give me that look. Is it any wonder I love the nub.

Doctor Leven had been busy examining the screen, while Freddie and I were verbally and non-verbally taunting each other. "Freddie…you have Marissa's eye for details. No wonder the Doppler was giving me an error message. It couldn't count three separate heartbeats. Congratulations kids…you're having triplets. A set of identical twins, and their sibling."

"Holy Chiz!" I groaned.

"How did this happen?" I heard Freddie mumble.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, you see Frednub, when and man and woman really love each other sometimes they give each other a special 'hug'." I started to explain mockingly.

"I know that, Demon…I remember each and every one of our 'special hugs' vividly." He retorted darkly cutting me off.

Once again the doctor was laughing at us. "Freddie, every now and then when a woman ovulates, her body accidentally releases more than one egg at a time. This tends to happen more when we are very young or when there is a slight hormonal imbalance." She explained gently. "Sometimes even with two eggs ready only one will be fertilized when sperm are introduced to their environment. It's unusual…but it does happen. In your case, Sam is predisposed to having monozygotic or identical twins…so one ovum split shortly after conception. You did get lucky. Only one egg chose to divide."

"Wait you mean I could be having four!" I shouted.

She gave me a quiet chuckle. "Don't worry…natural quadruplets are almost unheard of."

Freddie cleared his throat and took my hand back in his. "What does this mean for Sam? I know that teen moms are often considered 'high risk'." He asked carefully…worriedly.

She nodded. "As are multiple births. I'm not going to lie…Sam, you will both have some difficult times ahead of you. Many of the symptoms of pregnancy may be exacerbated. Especially the earliest signs, which is why Sam's early physical changes were so pronounced."

The Nub gave me a dirty smile, his eyes dropping to my chest. "Yeah…stupid boobs have grown two cup sizes already. In fact, I have a question…how do I keep him OFF my boobs?"

The petite doctor gave me a hard look. "Don't ask questions you already know the answer to. Especially since you don't really want that to happen anyway."

Damn if she didn't make me blush. I thought only Freddie could do that. "Don't worry. I k now she'd beat me up if I stopped. Puckett is an interesting girl…she speaks her own language. Fortunately I know how to translate it. Now, please, continue with what you were saying about the impact on her?"

Whit a small smile she continued. "I'll want to see Sam every two weeks. Given her height and build, I believe she may have to go on bed rest at a later date, but until that time, given her hypoglycemia and the fact that she is carrying multiples, I'm not going to give you a rigid caloric measure…but I want you to eat large amounts of fruits and vegetables. Do away with empty carbs. Try to stick with whole wheat and whole grain, up your protein intake. Since you're already eating six to eight meals a day, stick to that…many small meals."

"Small…yeah, for a football team." My nub muttered.

"Dr. Leven ignored him. "Once you hit the third trimester then I'm going to ask that you increase your caloric intake significantly. But it will still be in a very rigid manner, more vegetables and legumes, and less fatty foods. You can already start to increase your exercise. Do something low impact every day. Things like walking, and swimming. You can swim up through your last trimester. I'm going to prescribe you a folic acid supplement and a prenatal vitamin. The vitamins you will take for the duration of the pregnancy, and the folic acid just for the next month to six weeks."

Freddie was busily making notes on his PearPad. "Umm…how long can we continue to make love?" he asked shyly.

"As long as she feels comfortable. You'll find that as her body changes you may need to change positions and the like but sexual activity is a great way for an expectant mother to exercise." She said calmly. "Now…Freddie, your mother swears up and down that she refuses to let this child be born out of wedlock…but is that what you two want?"

"More than anything." Freddie said honestly before pressing a kiss to my lips.

I gave him a smirk. "The nub is mine. And what belongs to Mama…Mama keeps. It's best to make it all legal so I don't have to get violent on chicks who push up on him. He was mine when he was nerdy…I'm sure not letting him go now that he's all studly."

"Translation…she loves me too." He told the doctor.

"Yeah…I got that one." She laughed. "Well get dressed and we'll bring Marissa back here and tell her the news." Of course that went well. The doctor showed her the recording and indicated all three of the babies and Marissa fainted.

Confusingly enough, the second she came to, the first words out of her mouth were "What does this mean for Samantha?" She sounded like really concerned. Doctor Leven explained everything to Marissa. Freddie made sure he had everything she said written down. And I tried to decide why I was feeling all chocked up because it seemed like Marissa really did care about me. Stupid pregnancy hormones.

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><p>Reviews are like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're gonna get...But who the heck ever turns down chocolate!<p>

In the words of the intriguing Busta Rhymes...Gimme some More!

Anni


	6. The Chiz Hits the Fan

Just Desserts  
>AnniKay<p>

Sam/Freddie

Disclaimer: I own Nothing…Dan Schneider along with Nick and others own this fandom and all the characters there in…Anything you recognize obviously belongs to them  
>Spoilers: Up to and including Season 5 iLove You<p>

* * *

><p><strong>The Chiz Hits The Fan<strong>  
><em>Carly Point of View<em>

I swear I have no idea how everybody found out about Sam. We've been so careful. It's been killing me but we haven't told a soul. Well, Gibby and Brad know but that's mainly because they've been helping with coming up with creative ways to camouflage Sam's baby bump. You know, I didn't think pregnant bellies started popping out until the woman was a lot further along. But neither of them has said anything. I know Freddie and Sam haven't told anybody. And I've even kept my mouth shut. Sam and I may be like sisters…but I've see what she's been willing to do to Melanie just for irritating her. I try very hard not to make her mad at me, not when I can help myself.

But all the wondering doesn't change the fact that right after second period Wendy came running up to me panting in a gossip fury. "Carly, is it true? How could you not tell me? I thought we were friends. I had to hear it from Shannon Murphy who heard it from Jonah who heard it from Magical Malika of all people. But she heard it from Reuben, so I refuse to believe it until I looked it up. Is it true? Is Sam really," she stopped and looked around before dropping her voice, "pregnant with Freddie's love child?"

"What the Chiz?" I said, rapidly thanking God that Wendy is the only person in the whole world who cannot tell when I'm lying. "Where on earth did you hear that?"

She rolled her eyes. "I just told you where I heard it. I verified it on TMZ though." She pulled put her PearPhone and started to read. "Two of the stars of popular web-show iCarly were seen entering the office of one of the West Coast's premiere obstetricians. Seen here accompanied by Freddie's mother Marissa Benson, Sam and Freddie are holding hands and sipping on large smoothies, her baby bump clearly visible." She turned to me, "there's more now. This is new." Taking a deep breath "TMZ has acquired copies of court documents showing that the expectant couple has filed the paperwork to obtain a marriage license." She looked at me expectantly.

I was saved from responding by the arrival of several of the cheerleaders. "OMG Carly, you must be, like, so excited. Is Sam gonna make you the godmother?"

Gibby and Brad, thank God for them, rescued me from the sea of ravening hordes that was trying to encircle me. "Back off guys. She doesn't know anything about this. Can't you tell from the look on her face?" Brad chided. "Now leave her alone. You know what…if you want to know so bad, why don't you get up in Sam's face like that." Man rats don't desert a sinking ship the way that crowd scattered. Eww Rats.

Brad shook his head as they ran off. Gibby however had a plan. "Text Sam and let her and Freddie know what's going on. We cannot let them walk into a chiz storm like this without warning." He turned to Brad. "Brad, you go and warn Ted. Then go to T-Bo at the Groovy Smoothie and tell him it's a code SAM. He'll whip up a ham and bacon smoothie, go get it and make it back here before Sam and Freddie do. I'm going to get on the phone and call my mother and my uncle Gary and see if there is anything we can do to get in front of this."

We split up and I got on my assignment.

Carly: Sam we have a major prob. TMZ knows and is telling the world. They broke the story like an hour ago. Just got cornered by half the fems in Ridgeway.

Sam: What the chiz! How the hell did they find out?

Carly: They saw you going into the Dr. office. Pictures were taken…and posted.

Sam: Gotta tell Baby Daddy. Neither confirm nor deny anything. F and I will come up with a plan.

Carly: Principal Franklin's in the know.

Sam: Damn. If he kicks me out, I'm beating the chiz out of Harvey Levin.

Carly: I'll help. And by help I mean jeer and laugh and cheer you on.

_Sam Point of View_

I put away my phone and turned to Freddie. "Bad news, Nub. Apparently, some no life having photog caught us going into the doctors. Pictures went up on TMZ and long story short, all of Ridgeway knows."

"Shit." He muttered. His phone was out milliseconds later. "Son of a Bitch!" he shouted.

"Fredward Benson" Crazy yelled. "I'll not have that kind of language…"

"Mom that stupid clerk ratted us out. She told TMZ everything. She told them that we were getting married. She told them about you saying that your daughter-in-law was pregnant…everything. Thankfully no one at the doctor's office will speak to them so they don't have a medical confirmation…but they are taking the marriage certificate application and the quote from you and running with them as proof enough."

"Well shit." Marissa cursed.

My phone rang again. "What?" I snarled into the speaker. Right now just the thought of holding the stupid thing to my head made me tired.

"I see getting outta here hasn't improved your manners." My mom's sarcasm filled the car.

"Love you too, Ma. So what's wrong?" I asked in Marissa's 'I'll be polite if it kills me' tone.

"Just wondering why the hell TMZ is calling me asking questions about you and your geek boy."

"Apparently, real celebrities are being good today, so they had to move down to minor web celebrities for their scandal sheet." I answered caustically.

"So this is all because of iTwiggy." Mom laughed.

"iCarly, Mom, her name is Carly." I retorted.

"Her name should be 'Someone please feed me'." Pam launched back. "I could not be _your_ friend if I was still waiting on the puberty fairy."

Marissa and Freddie stopped and seemed to stop breathing all together. "Pam." I groaned.

"I am sorry; Samantha, but I can clearly see your mother's point. Perhaps Carly is subconsciously trying to make her physical underdevelopment make more sense by maintaining her sexual immaturity as well." Marissa theorized.

I looked at Freddie, who just mouthed, 'I'll translate later.' "So mom, you just called to find out why TMZ was calling you?"

"Yeah, no. I also wanted to know if you'd be pissed if I took the ten grand they are offering me to confirm your bun in the oven?" she drawled nonchalantly.

"If you take it…I want half." I said giving Freddie a friggin heart attack.

"So I take it, you don't want me to talk to the very nice producer lady." My mom groused.

"Talk to her all you want. But if you get paid, I get paid." I said once again to Freddie's shock.

Pam Puckett hates to share. She really, really hates to share money, and the noise she made let all of us know just how much she loathed the thought. "Fine," she snarked. "I'll see if I can get the, up to twenty G…then you can have half."

"Alright Granny…but you only confirm. Don't answer anything else." I told her.

"What else am I gonna say?" she sounded genuinely confused.

"Just don't editorialize." I groaned.

"You wanna say that again in English?" she shot back.

"Just don't be, you know, you."

"Uuuugggggghhhhhhhh." She groaned.

"Nnnnuuuuuuuggggghhhhhhhhh." I moaned back.

"Hey midget. You take care of our girl." She chided Freddie.

"Yes Pam." He said throwing me a smile.

"Good. And as soon as you put a ring on it….take her to see Chaz and Carmine, before they break out and come looking for you. They get out next summer if they are good. Don't wreck that." She said and hung up.

Freddie was looking at me like I had lost my mind. "You told her she could talk to TMZ, and confirm what I thought we were trying to keep quiet?" he asked incredulously.

"Hell yeah I did. Kids need stuff. Three kids need three times as much stuff. Hospitals, doctors they cost money. Then there is the fact that I eat like three times more than you and Crazy combined, and it's getting worse every day. Ten grand would help out a lot." I returned with a shrug.

"You just told your mother that she could confirm to the world that you are pregnant?" he said again slowly. "We were going to wait until after we got married. Do you remember why?"

I shrugged. "Calm your tits. This is Pamela Puckett…no one who watches our show will believe a word she says. We'll still only confirm it ourselves after the whole wedding chiz. And we'll be ten grand richer."

"But…"Freddie started.

"Samantha did what she thought was right Freddie. There is no use causing her stress about her decision." Marissa said quietly. "That being said, Samantha, you are no longer alone. You must remember to talk things like this through with your husband." Freddie and I looked at each other, we both knew she was right, but neither of us really wanted to admit we were kind of wrong. Thankfully we pulled up in front of Ridgeway. "You two have a good day. Learn all you can." Freddie got out and opened my door for me. We joined hands and headed into school ready to face the gossiping hordes.

_Freddie Point of View_

We got to school while class was in session. So we weren't mobbed straight away. However, the second the lady at the attendance window saw our names and our excuses, she shuffled us in to see Principal Franklin immediately. It was so immediate, in fact, that when his secretary buzzed to tell him we were there, he kicked a kid out and dragged us in.

"S'up Ted?" Sam asked irreverently as she slouched in her usual seat.

"Don't slouch, Sam…it's bad for the baby." Principal Franklin chided. "Speaking of, could you not have told me before the entire school found out?"

"We were planning to have this conversation with you in a few days when we invited you to our wedding as well." I said smoothly. Ok so I stammered it nervously. "But we lost that chance when the judgmental cow at the clerk of court's office and the nosy photog decided to tell the world our business."

"You are getting married. That's great!" Ted crowed delighted.

"Yes, my mother took us to fill out all the paperwork this morning." I answered cautiously.

"Thank God." He sighed. "The school's charter has not been rewritten since the mid eighties. And even that was primarily taken from the King County school board's governing rules for students which wasn't revised until the late nineties... Basically there is an antiquated rule on the books that Mr. Howard gleefully brought to my attention. But since you and Sam will be getting married, it removes her from the caveats of the regulation." He said with a smirk. "The rule only applies to unwed teen mothers. We can stall Howard for at least the next two weeks."

"That's perfect. Crazy is planning everything for next weekend." Sam laughed. "So by the time Howard can gird his heavily overweight loins to try and kick me out, I'll be untouchable. Though even if he had the backing of the entire US Armed Forces…then he might, might mind you, be able to make me do something I don't want to do." her laugh turned kind of evil when another thought hit her. "Howard's gonna lose his chiz when he realizes that Sam Puckett is here til graduation."

"Really Sam, I'll admit that I worried that you hated school enough to use this to-" Principal Franklin began.

"Maybe I would have back in the day. But come on Ted, you know how much I love to disappoint Howard and Briggs. Keeping them from happiness means more to me than leaving school early. Besides' I've got a much better reason to actually graduate now." She ran her hand over the little bump sheltering our children.

"Not to mention that my mother is not her guardian. Pam may have let her drop out…but Sam's a Benson now…or she will be this time next week, and Bensons don't drop out." I pointed out with a little smirk.

Principal Franklin nodded as though satisfied with my reasoning. Still looking solemn, though I could see him fighting a hint of a smile, he asked calmly. "Samantha, I know this is going to be difficult, what can I do to help?"

"Knew there was a reason I liked you Ted." Sam said cheekily.

"Principal Franklin, we could use your help. Given Sam's already voracious appetite, and her need to increase her already staggering caloric intake," I began.

He nodded thoughtfully, "You'll need permission for her to eat in class. Does she still need more rest too?"

"Hey I'm still right here." Sam groused. "How about you give me a pass that says I can eat whenever I want…sleep when I need to and drag Fredifer out of class when the mood strikes?" She challenged.

"No…relations…on school grounds, Puckett." I growled.

"Dude, I just meant I'd pull you out of class to go get me food." Sam drawled warily. "Mind out of the gutter Techgeek."

I could feel my face getting redder and redder as I tried to sputter out a defense. But I knew that Sam would never let me live this down, and from the smirk on his face…neither would Principal Franklin. "Anyway…" I tried to pull the subject back to something non-death by embarrassment-inducing. "Sam's considered high risk, so she'll need to have more doctor appointments, and she may have to go on bed rest, the hope is that that will wait until after graduation, but…"

Again Ted looked thoughtful. "I should be able to work something out with most of her teachers. She doesn't actually have Howard this year, so the only problem will be…"

"Briggs." Sam snarled.

As if summoned, the door opened and Ms. Briggs entered. "Well, if it isn't the proud parents?" she crowed sarcastically. "If you think that you're getting any special treatment from me simply because you've managed to do something millions of uneducated and unwashed women do daily, well you've got another think coming. In fact, I believe that you owe me three weeks of detention for sleeping in class."

"Yeah like that's gonna happen." Everyone turned to look at me in complete shock. I rolled my eyes.

"Freddie." Mr. Franklin said in a tone that clearly said, 'she will expect you to be chided, but my heart really isn't in it'.

"Sorry, Sir…but she is not serving detentions when she needs to be home resting. She certainly isn't going to deal with the extra stress of added time trying not to kill a teacher for no discernible reason." I retorted. "Just no. I respect authority figures as much as the next straight A, technerd kind of guy…but I refuse to allow you and your stupid vendetta against a person twenty five years your junior possibly cause harm to my future wife, let alone my children. So might I suggest you grow up, give your inner child a time out and move on? And Ms. Briggs if you don't like it…I can have my mother in front of Superintendent Chalmers in a heartbeat."

The looks on the faces of the others was almost comical. They ranged from Ms. Briggs' enraged countenance to Principal Franklin's barely masked pride. Sam…Sam just looked like I was about to be tackled, and love every second of it. I gave Ms. Briggs a hard look. "Now if that is settled, why don't you come in close the door and give Principal Franklin a female's perspective on what we can do to make sure that Sam is able to graduate with her class?" The thing about power mad despots like Briggs and Howard, if you give them a way to feel as though they can tell you something that you don't know…you have them hook line and sinker.

"Well first of all, she can't carry her own backpack. In fact, if I see Puckett with anything that weighs more than those atrocious dagwood sandwiches she loves, then I will see you in detention Benson." Briggs said authoritatively. "And don't argue Puckett. There are millions of miscarriages that cannot be prevented, but there are also those that can. Speaking of which, once her center of gravity changes, no more stairs. She may be able to handle climbing them, but coming back down those suckers can be extremely difficult when you can't see your feet. And another thing, she needs a laminated tardy pass. The way these children jostle and run and play in the hallways is completely deplorable. She should wait 'til the halls clear and then go to her next class."

Woman might be a chiz-head of the ninth order…but she's not coming up with bad ideas. Apparently Principal Franklin thought so too. He'd pulled out a pad and paper and was busily jotting down notes. That man is so old school. It's so much easier for me to key them in on my pearPad.

* * *

><p>Another random installment in the Saga of Seddie.<p>

Review...My poor Plot Bunnies are starving...or multiplying one or the other.

TTFN  
>Anni<p> 


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